It’s been an “interesting” week. Some beautiful, sunny, autumnal periods interspersed with dark skies and downpours of biblical proportions. Flooding in all the usual places and driving, especially on the motorways, has been, at times, exciting. Friday and yesterday we enjoyed the company of Storm Claudia, the third named storm of the season so far. Cue Yellow/Amber flood alerts and soggy, soggy fields (and dogs). Walking Daisy on Friday afternoon reminded me of why we love our dogs – they drag you out in the most miserable weather on the foulest days imaginable.
Continue reading “16 November 2025”16 November 2025 – Amusements
40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
A married couple in their EARLY 60’s were celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary in a quiet and romantic restaurant. Suddenly a tiny, yet beautiful, fairy appeared on their table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and – POOF – two tickets for the Queen Mary I! appeared in her hands. The fairy turned to the husband and asked him what he would like for his wish. The husband thought for a minute, “Well, this is all romantic, but this type of opportunity may never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and – POOF – the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female AND females stick together.
Continue reading “16 November 2025 – Amusements”9 November 2025
It’s been a half-decent week. The weather’s been variable but we’ve had a splendid visit with great friends, enjoyed another Moreton Pinkney Film Night, had a grand evening out in Stratford which included an outstanding evening meal and a standing ovation-worthy production by the RSC at the Swan. Marvellous.
Continue reading “9 November 2025”9 November 2025 – Amusements
We’ve had these before, I think, but I am running out of material! Send help!
This is postively absurd but it made me smile.
The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. “I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I’ve seen it on T.V.”
He proceeded to describe it to the rest of the animals and they all got excited about it so they decided to play. They went out to the field and chose up teams and were ready to begin.
The lion’s team received. They were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was back deep for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. First, he crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits. He gored a wildebeest, knocked over two cows, and broke through to daylight, scoring six.
Unfortunately, they lacked a place-kicker, and the score remained 6 – 0.
Late in the first half the lion’s team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point. The lion’s team led at halftime 7 – 6. In the locker room, the lion gave a pep talk. “Look you guys. We can win this game. We’ve got the lead and they only have one real threat. We’ve got to keep the ball away from the rhino, he’s a killer. Mule, when you kick off be sure to keep it away from the rhino.”
The second half began. Just as the mule was about to kick off, the rhino’s team changed formation and the ball went directly to the rhino. Once again, the rhino lowered his head and was off running. First, he stomped two gazelles. He skewered a zebra, and bulldozed an elephant out of the way. It looked like he was home free. Suddenly at the twenty-yard line, he dropped over dead. There were no other animals in sight anywhere near him. The lion went over to see what had happened. Right next to the dead rhino he saw a small centipede.
“Did you do this?” he asked the centipede.
“Yeah, I did.” the centipede replied.
The lion retorted, “Where were you during the first half?”
“I was putting on my shoes.”
Continue reading “9 November 2025 – Amusements”2 November 2025
It’s been a pretty damp and dismal week. We’ve had the occasional bit of sunshine but mainly it’s been grey and gloomy, and a bit chilly, very autumnal.
Continue reading “2 November 2025”2 November 2025 – Amusements
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle.”
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps its aboot time you let me poot me hand on your leg.”
The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her leg. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
The young man knit his brow. “Well, now,” he said, “my thoughts are a bit more serious this time.”
“Really?” said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
“Aye,” said the lad.
The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Angus blurted out, “Din’na ye think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?”
Continue reading “2 November 2025 – Amusements”26 October 2025
Halleluiah! It’s the best weekend of the year (at least in the UK – I think our American friends and family have to wait until next week). Daylight Savings has come to an end – we’ve had that glorious extra hour of sleep this morning. Halleluiah indeed!
Continue reading “26 October 2025”26 October 2025 – Amusements
Two Priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their “tourist” garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead gorgeous” topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They could not help but stare.
As the blonde passed them she smiled and said “Good Morning, Father. Good Morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a very revealing string bottom, took her sweet time walking toward them. And again, they couldn’t help but stare.
Again she nodded at each of them, saying “Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father,” as she passed by. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and called after her.
“Just a minute young lady!”
“Yes, Father?” she said as she stopped and turned back.
“We are priests and are proud of it, but I have to know: how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?”
The woman smiled, bent over a bit, and pulled off her sunglasses. “Father,” she said in a purr, “don’t you recognize me? It’s me — Sister Katherine!”
Continue reading “26 October 2025 – Amusements”
19 October 2025
After a couple of busy weeks visiting friends, camping & exploring in Yorkshire and entertaining my lovely sister and her husband, this week has been pretty quiet. All we’ve done this week, it seems, is move from one venue to another attempting to collect some inoculations. Jabs, jabs, jabs!
Continue reading “19 October 2025”19 October 2025 – Amusements
A truck driver is driving along on the freeway when he passes a sign reading “Low Bridge Ahead.”
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck underneath it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
Continue reading “19 October 2025 – Amusements”