It seems that the shops stock seasonal products earlier and earlier each year. Today I saw a birthday card, but my birthday isn’t until October. Utterly ridiculous!
I recently paid £6,500 for a registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyway……I had the vet come and take a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.
The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine! I don’t know what was in the pills the Vet gave him … but they kind of taste like peppermint.
Ten of the Funniest Jokes (Alledgedly) from the Edinburgh Fringe
Olaf Falafel: We named our children War and Peace – it’s a long story.
Andrew Doherty: At my lowest, I was kicked out of the museum for being inappropriate with Michelangelo’s David. I’d hit rock bottom.
Bella Hull: I just got a personal trainer. She’s horrible to me but my body goal is a thicker skin.
Rob Auton: Everyone is worried about AI. I’m more concerned with what the other vowels are up to.
Ian Smith: People who say bath bombs are relaxing have clearly never tried to carry one home in the rain.
Amelia Hamilton: I love getting Latin chat-up lines. I carpe every DM.
Sikisa: This spider has been in my house so long, it should pay half the wifi. As a web developer, it can afford to.
Chris Grace: I went on a date with a matador but there were too many red flags.
Candace Bryan: America is like my ex-boyfriend. Our relationship was toxic, when I left everyone called me brave, and now every morning I pull up social media to see how ugly he’s getting.
Rajiv Karia: I’m not nostalgic but I used to be. Those were the days.