A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to address the crowd of drinkers. He says, ‘I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.’
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the man who left shows back up, taps the Texan on the shoulder, and asks, ‘Is your bet still good?'”
The Texan says ‘yes’ and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into the 10 pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, ‘If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?’
The Irishman replies, ‘Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.’”
These next two offerings are from our friend Julie in Australia:
A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you’re in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?”
The horse ponders for a minute then responds “I don’t think I am.” And poof, he disappears.
This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they’re familiar with Descartes’ famous postulate, “I think, therefore I am.” But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.
I was gonna tell a joke about Sodium, but then I thought, “Na”.