40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
A married couple in their EARLY 60’s were celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary in a quiet and romantic restaurant. Suddenly a tiny, yet beautiful, fairy appeared on their table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.”
The fairy waved her magic wand and – POOF – two tickets for the Queen Mary I! appeared in her hands. The fairy turned to the husband and asked him what he would like for his wish. The husband thought for a minute, “Well, this is all romantic, but this type of opportunity may never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and – POOF – the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female AND females stick together.
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and | grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident” I couldn’t help myself and I burst our laughing!
A variation on one we’ve had a few times before:
A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he decided he couldn’t tell his prim and proper wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, “Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he’s only tried it twice. The first time he fell off, and the second time he got so sore he could hardly walk.”