The Black Bra
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I, the third one, have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here’s how it all went.
My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…! love you!’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress: ‘Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we made wild love all night.
Then I had to share my story: ‘When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”
A man gambled in a casino in Nepal. Unfortunately, he lost everything. Dejected, he headed for the restroom, only to find that the toilet door opened with a one-rupee coin. Distressed, he stood in front of the door. Another man noticed his predicament and gave him a one-rupee coin. The defeated gambler was grateful. He insisted on noting down the name and address of his benefactor and promised that, no matter what, he would repay his debt someday.
After the donor left, when he tried to open the door by putting the money in the crack, he found that the door was already open – coincidentally, when someone else had passed by, the door had not closed behind him.
Anyway, when he came out of the restroom and reached the lobby, he still had the one rupee he had borrowed. Driven by habit, the gambler put that rupee on the line, winning forty rupees. His fortunes took a turn, and that very night he not only made up for his lost one lakh rupees, but also won another five and a half lakh rupees. He then boarded a plane and flew to Bombay, where he used the money to open a fast food restaurant. That restaurant was so successful that within a few years, he opened fifteen similar restaurants across India and purchased a five-star deluxe hotel.
Then two hotels, then three hotels, then hotels abroad.
In his old age, he once narrated his success story in a meeting of his board of directors and said in a very emotional voice, “This miracle that happened to me happened because of one man, just one man. If I meet that man today, I would weigh him in gold and diamonds and jewels.”
“That guy,” said a director, “who gave you one rupee to put in the toilet at a casino in Nepal?”
“No, not him. I have his address. I’m looking for the man who left the toilet door open.”
The Wedding Ceremony came to that awkward moment when the priest asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
Utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the priest.
The congregation was aghast – you could almost hear a pin drop.
The groom’s jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child.
Chaos ensued as the bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom’s mother fainted.
The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation.
The priest asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
There was absolute silence in the church as the woman replied, “We can’t hear you in the back.”