“What’s the quickest way to Cork?” I asked the Irish farmer.
“Are you walking or driving?” he said.
“Driving,” I replied.
“Yes, that will be the quickest.”
10 years ago today I married my best friend. My wife’s still really angry about it, but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was funny.
A magician shows his agent a new act in which he makes 50 cigars appear out of thin air, takes a puff on each, and then swallows them one at a time until they’re all gone.
“That’s amazing,” says the agent. “How do you do that with so many cigars?”
“Very simple,” says the magician. “I get the cigars wholesale from a cousin in Tampa.”