Another wet week – who could have imagined that there was this much water in the skies? We did have some sunshine on Tuesday but it didn’t last long, just long enough for folks to wander outside and scratch their heads in bewilderment at this strange atmospheric phenomenon. One of our lovely neighbours said the rain was supposed to continue for another month. You cannot be serious.
Continue reading “22 February 2026”Month: February 2026
22 February 2026 – Amusements
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?”
The blonde said, “No, I want 25 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.”
The milkman asked, “Do you want it pasteurized?”
The blonde said, “No, just up to my tits…. I can splash it on my eyes!”
Continue reading “22 February 2026 – Amusements”15 February 2026
We saw the sun this week. To be fair, we actually saw it twice this week, once on Thursday morning for about 20 minutes. The clouds were a glorious reddish-pinkish shade with a little glimmer of blue sky as the sunshine came down in shafts of light. Didn’t last, of course. More rain and mud until Saturday which, for some reason, dawned bright, sunny and cloud-free. Don’t worry, the forecast for today is back to “normal.”
15 February 2016 – Amusements
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate their pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5.00 am, loaded the pigs into the family station wagon and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, “How will I know if they are pregnant?”
The other farmer replied, “If they’re lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they’re pregnant. If they’re in the mud, they’re not.
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud so the farmer hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon and proceeded to try again.
This continued morning after morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.
The next morning the farmer was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, “Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass.”
“Neither,” shouted his wife, “They’re in the station wagon, and one of them is honking the horn!”
Continue reading “15 February 2016 – Amusements”8 February 2026
Good morning. This week we have mainly been enjoying rain, rain, rain, rain, mud, mud, mud, mud, rain, rain, rain and more rain. Our little brooks are overflowing, the countryside is sodden, and the dog is filthy. Lovely!
Continue reading “8 February 2026”8 February 2026 – Amusements
We’ve had this before in a slightly different context:
An old drunk guy walks up to the bar, slaps a $50 down and tells the bartender, “‘Il I bet you 50 bucks that I can bite my eye!”
The bartender is intrigued and takes the bet. The guy pulls out his false eye, bites it, and sticks it back in the socket.
The bartender is annoyed but pays up and figures the $50 was worth the show.
A few minutes later the drunk walks up to the bar slaps 100 bucks down and says, “Double or nothing. I’ll bet a hundred bucks I can bite my other eye.” The bartender figures the dude is drunk and takes the bet.
The guy removes his false teeth, bites the other eye and sticks the teeth back in.
Now the bartender is really angry but pays up. The old drunk looks the bartender in the eye and bets him 200 bucks that the bartender can slide a pint glass down the bar and he could run beside it and piss in the glass and not get a drop on the bar.
The bartender figures what the hell and takes the bet. He slides the glass down the counter but the drunk gets hardly any of his pee in the glass, most of it ends up on the bar.
The bartender is super pumped to get his money back and snatches up the $200 with a smile.
He then hears another guy at a table cursing up a storm. The drunk walks up to the bartender and explains, “I bet him $500 that I could piss all over the counter and you’d be happy about it!!”
Continue reading “8 February 2026 – Amusements”1 February 2026
Happy Almost Groundhog Day. I hope your shadow does whatever you would want it to.
Continue reading “1 February 2026”1 February 2026 – Amusements
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m.
As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
Continue reading “1 February 2026 – Amusements”