Greg's Occasional News & Views
A couple of days of less scorching weather followed by another couple of days of scorching temperatures. Same old, same old. The weather people did suggest there might be some rain on Thursday but, apart from a drop at about 9.30 on Thursday evening, we saw none. Clouds but no rain. The new normal.
Continue reading “2 August 2026”I’m pretty sure we’ve had these before – you can tell I am running out of material – please send whatever you can – obviously I am desperate!
A very confident Marine Corps Pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The Pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
The Fighter Pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
Continue reading “2 August 2026 – Amusements”Oops! Sorry, I neglected to “warn” you last week that we would be away and therefore not have a chance to put together the usual copious and incoherent scribblings of the Moreton Pinkney Picayune. (I know that some of you will be delighted – I share your joy!
We’re currently in Northumberland poking around and exploring some of the beautiful beaches here and there. The weather has been grand – mainly sunny with temperatures in the high teens to low twenties. Very pleasant and non-scorcio!
A few photos – bear in mind as you flick through these – this is high summer season. As a result, there are considerably more folks (and dogs) on the beach than usual.
Daisy loves the beach! She’s always on the lookout for another dog with which to run and play and spends the rest of her time scouring the vegetation for a small rodent or two to scare. Thankfully, they always seem to escape her attentions – so far, fingers crossed.
Just a heads-up, we’re away again next weekend so you may get another vacation. You’re welcome.
Meanwhile, keep breathing, keep happy, keep smiling, keep exercising, be good, be careful, and keep safe. And, be gentle to wasps and bees – we need all the pollinators we can get. And, hold your loved ones close.
Lots of love to you all,
Greg
Catching her in the act, I confronted our three-year-old granddaughter, “Are you eating your little sister’s grapes?” I demanded.
“No,” she innocently replied, “I’m helping her share.”
It’s still been hot this week although not quite as stifling as last week. Temperatures have been in the high 20s (high 70s, low 80s) but with a bit of breeze to cool things off. And, the evening temperatures have been more accommodating, cooling down to the high teens making for somewhat more comfortable slumbers.
Continue reading “19 July 2026”We’ve had it before but it still makes me chuckle (and, after all, that’s the only criteria that matters):
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!”
The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?”
Scorcio! Our third heatwave this summer (so far) and temperatures have, surprisingly, been scorching!
A couple of old guys in Palm Desert were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Smith for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His elderly buddy remarked that he too had gone to the very same dentist two years before.
“Is that so?” asked the first old guy. “Did he do a good job?”
The second oldster replied, “Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 100 mph when it smacked me right in the testicles.”
The first old guy was confused and asked, “What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?”
“It was the first time my teeth didn’t hurt…”
Phew! One group of guests leave and another arrive – it’s all go in beautiful downtown Moreton Pinkney.
Continue reading “5 July 2026”A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be one cent,” says the bartender.
“One cent!?” exclaimed the guy.
The bartender replied, “Yes, One cent.”
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”
“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.”
“How much money?” inquires the guy.
“Four cents,” he replies.
“Four cents?!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”
The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replies, “Same thing I’m doing to his business.”