Greg – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

12 July 2026

12 July 2026 – Amusements

5 July 2026

5 July 2026 – Amusements

28 June 2026

Scorcio! Scorcio! Scorcio!

28 June 2026 – Amusements

21 June 2026

Scorcio (again) and Brève (peut-être).

21 June 2026 – Amusements

14 June 2026

Smellio!

14 June 2026 – Amusements

Scorcio! Our third heatwave this summer (so far) and temperatures have, surprisingly, been scorching!

A couple of old guys in Palm Desert were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Smith for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly buddy remarked that he too had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

“Is that so?” asked the first old guy. “Did he do a good job?”

The second oldster replied, “Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 100 mph when it smacked me right in the testicles.”

The first old guy was confused and asked, “What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?”

“It was the first time my teeth didn’t hurt…”

Phew! One group of guests leave and another arrive – it’s all go in beautiful downtown Moreton Pinkney.

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be one cent,” says the bartender.

“One cent!?” exclaimed the guy.

The bartender replied, “Yes, One cent.”

So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?”

“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender, “but all that comes to real money.”

“How much money?” inquires the guy.

“Four cents,” he replies.

“Four cents?!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”

The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”

The bartender replies, “Same thing I’m doing to his business.”

Oh my goodness, it’s been hot! 36^o on Friday (just shy of 100^o F). Certainly not what we’re used to. We’ve had the hottest June day in the UK since records began and France enjoyed their hottest day ever! Typically, some woke scientists made a claim that the current heat wave would not be possible without the climate crisis. Burn, baby, burn!

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”

The next day, the pastor was over at Emily’s family’s house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, “That’s because it’s empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it.”

Short and sweet (?) this time – we’ve been away for a few days to attend the funeral of an old friend in Hampshire and our schedule has been frenetic ever since. And the next couple of weeks are looking similarly busy and action-packed!

I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. The girl replied, “The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, sir.”

For the second straight week we’ve had water problems. This time, exceedingly low water pressure meaning that, while we had a sufficient dribble of water to fill a kettle or a dog’s water bowl, there was no possibility of a shower – drip, drip, drip just won’t do it. So, Ms Playchute and I had to accept that we were going to be smelly for the next few days.

7 Oscar's Birthday All Day 7 July 2026 {title}

9 Robert's Birthday 00:00 9 July 2026 {title}

17 Adam's Birthday 00:00 17 July 2026 {title}, Lisa's Birthday 00:00 17 July 2026 {title}

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”