News – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

11 October 2026

We’re off to Northumberland for the coming week – back home again in the middle of next week, I think. We’ve completed a number of tasks – both Penelope and I have had our flu and Covid jabs with no ill effects, we’ve netted the pond to catch most of the leaves which will fall in it and I was able to give the lawns a quick trim. Wouldn’t it be nice it that was the last mow of the season? Not a chance – the weather is still unseasonably warm and, naturally, while it’s warm the grass keeps growing!

4 October 2026

It’s been another great week. We were up in Northumberland until Wednesday when we drove back to Moreton Pinkney for a range of appointments and tasks over the next ten days or so (flu jabs, covid jabs, car MOT, etc.). We got lots done in Northumberland but there’s still a bunch to do. I tell you – it’s absolutely exhausting watching Penny working so hard.

4 October 2026 – Amusements

It was parents’ evening at a nice grammar school and a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi find themselves sitting next to each other while the presentations part of the evening is going on.

They start whispering to each other.

The priest says to the rabbi, ‘Excuse me, i don’t want to be rude but can I ask you a personal question? Have you ever tasted pork?’

The rabbi says, ‘No, absolutely not. That is forbidden in our religion, as you know. And I was brought up in a very Orthodox home.

But the priest presses on.

‘What? Not even, when you were a boy, just to see what it tasted like?’

So, the rabbi tells a story of how when he was a boy he went round to one of his friends’ houses and they were having bacon sandwiches for tea. Just out of curiosity, he had some.

‘I tried it,’ says the rabbi, ‘I had a bacon sandwich, but please don’t share that around, eh?’

So the two of them go on sitting watching the presentation. After a bit, the rabbi whispers to the priest, ‘I don’t want to be personal but can I ask you about celibacy? Have I got this right? You’ve never had sex of any kind? Is that right?’

‘That’s right,’ said the priest. ‘The Catholic Church calls its priests to a life of celibacy, and I chose to embrace that commitment completely, even before my ordination.’

‘Really?’ said the rabbi, ‘not even once? You know, when you were a teenager, and people were…. you know…. experimenting?’

‘Well,’ whispers the priest, ‘as you’ve asked, and you were frank and honest with me, I can honestly say, yes, there was one occasion, when I was with a delightful girl in my year at school and, yes, we… er… did… you know… as you say, have a sexual experience together.’

There was a long pause.

And then the rabbi says, ‘Better than bacon, isn’t it.’

27 September 2026

It’s been a decent enough week, thank you for asking. We’ve had some lovely weather with clear skies, bright sunshine and temperatures somewhat higher than we might normally expect at this time of year. Autumn has come but you wouldn’t necessarily know it.

20 September 2026

And, we’re back! Again. We had a lovely week in Northumberland – the weather was kind and we completed a number of tasks on our “to-do” list, thanks to Penny’s excellent supervision and direction. Progress – just a few things to finish and we’ll be ready to go!

13 September 2026

And, we’re off again! Northumberland calls with a number of important tasks and activities! Hurray! The weather is not looking great but most of what we have to do is indoors so we’ll manage somehow, I guess.

6 September 2026

That’s more like it – a bit of rain on Thursday. At last. Our waterbutts are full again and the grass is beginning to acquire a somewhat greenish tinge. The temperature has also returned to a more normal range for this time of year. Thank goodness that extended drought and heatwave after heatwave turned out to be merely a figment of our imagination. There’s clearly nothing to this climate change nonsense after all, just a beautiful hot sunny summer like they have in more southerly climes.

30 August 2026

Another great week! We’ve been in Northumbria again and enjoyed the company of our very dear friends and former neighbours Lesley and Graham. It was a lot of fun to show them around the various places we’ve discovered so far.

23 August 2026

Short and sweet this week you will be pleased to hear! We’ve been in Northumberland all week with Adam, Ava and the girls and we’ve had a lot of fun sharing this place with them. The weather wasn’t fantastic but perfectly acceptable – a tiny bit of rain from time to time – I guess that’s why Northumberland is still green while down south everything is burned to a crisp. A bit fresh but, as Alfred Wainwright famously said, “There’s no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing.”

16 August 2026

Oh my goodness – this is getting a bit tedious. Another heatwave, more drought and no rain on the horizon. Reservoirs running low, rivers running dry, scorching temperatures and scorched fields. And, now it turns out that the temperatures in Europe are rising the fastest of anywhere else on earth. Good to know that we’re a world-beater in some contexts.