Greg's Occasional News & Views

Greg

10 December 2017

Short, sharp and sweet (?) this week – we’ve got so many social engagements I don’t know whether I’m coming or going to the next one. It’s been a good week although the weather can’t make its mind up – we had freezing cold mornings with a sharp frost early in the week, mild and relatively pleasant conditions mid-week followed by torrential rain and gale force winds toward the end of the week. And, we are allegedly due some snow today! Ah, the English weather – there’s always something to talk about. Continue reading

10 December 2017 – Amusements

Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw.

Noticing my surprise, the coach said, “That record will stand forever.”

I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, “We stopped holding that event years ago.” Continue reading

2 December 2017 – Amusements

This one hasn’t come around for awhile . . .

A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There is no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year.”

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.

She met the Tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I be acquitted?” Continue reading

19 November 2017

We’re back! Again. And this time, it really is “we” as Penelope has finally returned home after 43 days away and 30,596 miles or almost 49,000 km! Whew!

On the other hand – I’m off! Again. I fly out this morning to spend Thanksgiving with my mother in New England. After this trip, though, I hope we will be home for a while. Continue reading

19 November 2017 – Amusements

A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, “Is my wife here?”

His wife replies, “Yes, dear, I’m here, next to you.”

The man goes, “Are my children here?”

“Yes, Daddy, we are all here,” say the children.

“Are my other relatives also here?”

And they say, “Yes, we are all here…”

The man sits up and says, “Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?” Continue reading

29 October 2017

Tuesday 10 October

Our last day at the Outside Inn. Unfortunately, we all had grumbling tummies to some extent or another and so it was a day of restraint. We were to fly to Sanya on Hainan Island that night leaving from Guilin Airport at 22.20 so we had the whole day to relax and leisurely attend to the sorting and packing after 12 days at the Outside Inn. Ronald and his staff were wonderful throughout our visit; as always they were ever helpful and kind. They’ve become like family during our two visits. Continue reading

29 October 2017 – Amusements

Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, “Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?”

The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars.”

“I’m sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?”

“Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear.”

“Well, you can’t be disappointed with that!”

“Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars.”

“Incredible… so how come you look so glum?”

“Well, this week…nothing!” Continue reading

22 October 2017

Well, we’re back after another great trip to China. I say, “we’re back,” but that’s not really the case. I am back for a couple of weeks while Pen continues her adventures visiting her brother and sister and an aunt while travelling with her sister J in Australia. I’m here for another week and then it all kicks off again. No rest for the wicked. Continue reading

22 October 2017 – Amusements

A Tennessee hill-billy farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store.

“Heya, Wilbur,” said Sam, the store owner. “tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?”

“You betcha, Sam. Ain’t no ‘tother way. Why?”

“Got something to show you. Something to make fire. It’s called a ‘match’.”

“‘Match’? Never heard of it.”

“Watch this. If you want a fire you just do this,” Sam says, taking a match and striking it on his pants.

“Huh. Well, that’s something, but that ain’t for me, Sam.”

“Well, why not?”

“I can’t be walking twelve miles every time I want a fire just to borrow your pants.” Continue reading

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Last updated: 10/02/2017

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