One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears Catalogue and admiring all the beautiful models.
Ole said to Sven, “Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?”
Sven replied, “Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!”
Ole looked wide eyed and said, “Yumpin’ yimminy. Dey ain’t very expensive. At dees prices I’m buyin’ me vun.”
Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, “by golly Ole, if she’s as perdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too.”
Three weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, “did ja ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears Catalog?”
Ole replied, “no, but it von’t be long now, her clothes came yesterday!”
The basketball coach stormed into the university president’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.
“Please,” protested the college president, “you already make more than the entire History Department.”
“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look.”
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. “Run over to my office and see if I’m there,” he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. “You’re not there, sir,” he reported.
“Oh, I see what you mean,” conceded the president, scratching his head. “I would have phoned.”
Three professors — a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician — are at a department head meeting when a fire breaks out in a wastebasket.
They all have different methods of dealing with the emergency.
The physicist says, “I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than their ignition temperature and then the fire will go out.”
The chemist says, “No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants.”
As the physicist and the chemist debate what to do, the statistician runs around the room lighting more fires.
“What are you doing?!” the physicist and the chemist scream.
The statistician replies, “We’re going to need a larger sample size.”