Pauly walks into a bar and says “Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!” The bartender says, “Well, Pauly, seems you’re in a really good mood tonight, eh?”
Pauly says, “Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!”
The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.
Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says “Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!”
The bartender says, “Well now! If you’re so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you’ll be when you get your first pay check!”
Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says “You mean they’ll PAY me on top of all this?”
I know we’ve had this before but it sums up our relationship so accurately . . .
We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately.
It was raining hard and I couldn’t play golf either so I talked to my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.
During a sixth grade sex education class, the young professor asked, “What happens to a young woman during puberty?”
There was no reply from her students, so she rephrased the question. “What happens to young women as they mature?”
One girl raised her hand and answered, “We start carrying purses?”