The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.
I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”
“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was.
“Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”
The judge reviews the divorce case very carefully and issues his judgement. “Mr Smith, I am going to give your wife $750 a month.”
Mr. Smith’s replies, “That’s very kind of you, judge. And every once in a while I will send her something too.”