The police officer approaches the driver, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.”
The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, “You’re wrong, officer, it’s only my hat that makes me look that old.”
A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife murmurs, “I love you.”
“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.
“It’s me,” says the wife, “talking to the wine.”
I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. “Have you ever heard of a drink called ‘Seven Young Blondes’?” I asked. He admitted he’d never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he’d be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. “Sir,” I asked the customer, “can you tell me what’s in that drink?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “It’s wine,” he said, pronouncing his words carefully, “Sauvignon Blanc.”