A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, “Is my wife here?”
His wife replies, “Yes, dear, I’m here, next to you.”
The man goes, “Are my children here?”
“Yes, Daddy, we are all here,” say the children.
“Are my other relatives also here?”
And they say, “Yes, we are all here…”
The man sits up and says, “Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?”
A mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.
“It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”
A man is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him and now he can say only one word a year. So he waits 14 agonizing years—accumulating all his words—before approaching his beloved.
Finally, the big day arrives. When he sees her, his heart skips a beat. He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, “My darling, I have waited many years to say this… Will you marry me?”
The princess turns around, smiles, and says, “Pardon?”