A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.
Suspecting the worse, she reaches for an extra pillow and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can, letting her anger and frustration out. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”
On a visit to New York, an Irishman and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop. The Irishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn’t notice.
The Irishman says to the Scotsman, “You see how clever we are? You’ll never beat that!”
The Scotsman says to the Irishman, “Watch this, a Scotsman is always cleverer than an Irishman.”
He says to the baker, “Give me a cookie, I can show you a magic trick!”
The baker gives him the cookie which the Scotsman promptly eats. Then he says to the baker, “Give me another cookie for my magic trick.”
The baker is getting suspicious but he gives it to him. He eats this one too. Then he says again, “Give me one more cookie.”
The baker is getting angry now but gives him one anyway. The Scotsman eats this one too. Now the baker is really mad, and he yells, “And where is your famous magic trick?”
The Scotsman says, “Look in the Irishman’s pocket!”
A husband and wife had a big argument. Frustrated and fed up, the wife called up her mom and said, “We fought again, I can’t do this anymore. I am coming to live with you.”
Mom said, “No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”