Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was “just up ahead.”
One year I snapped. “Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn’t exist. It’s like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn’t dead, doesn’t have too many bald spots and is straight.”
We found a spider in the house and my girlfriend told me to take it out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple ‘Calm down, Honey’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset.