A man went to the movies and was surprised to find a woman with a large collie sitting in front of him. Even more amazing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places through the comedy.
“Excuse me,” the man said to the woman, “but I think it’s astounding that your dog enjoys the movie so much.”
“I’m surprised myself,” she replied. “He hated the book.”
A young man who had recently moved out on his own called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother said, “Why don’t you send her a nice note and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook.”
A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take:
– Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag
– Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves
– 24 hours supply of food and drink
– De-icer
– 5 lbs of rock salt
– flashlight with spare batteries
– Road flares and reflective triangles
– Tow rope
– 5 gallon gas can
– First aid kit
– Jumper cables
I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.