A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five-year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.
Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve-foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in, he tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.”
To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no! Don’t shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son’s picture on his back.”
There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?” I asked.
“What’s the point?” my husband said. “They die after about a week.”
“So could you,” I shot back, “but I still like having you around.”
A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six- month-old baby and her sister’s three-month-old baby.
Two women approached the mother. “Are they twins?” one asked.
“No, they’re three months apart.”
“My! You sure had them close together.”