We’ve had these before . . .
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free… you either married it or gave birth to it.
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”
“Me neither doc,” said the husband, “but she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership and browses around.
Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she anxiously looks around to see if anyone has noticed and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greets her, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?” Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiles back and asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?”
Still smiling pleasantly, he replies, “Madam, I’m very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are gonna shit when you hear the price.