Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde lady walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” said Bubba, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches,” and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. “Ain’t that just like a dumb blond? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.”
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband she said, “As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter.”
The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks, and said, “Here, have another cookie.”
The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny.
Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it.
The children took the news of Danny’s imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, “He’s been around here a long time–we’ll miss him.”
“Yes,” Mom replied, “But he’s too much work for one person, and since I’m that one person, I say he goes.”
Another child offered, “Well, maybe if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, we could keep him.”
But Mom was firm. “It’s time to take Danny to his new home now,” she insisted. “Go and get his cage.”
With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, “Danny? We thought you said Daddy!”