As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: “Danger! Beware of Dog!” Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
“Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of?” he asks the owner.
“That’s him,” comes the reply.
“He doesn’t look dangerous to me. Why would you post that sign?”
“‘Cause before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”
English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
We’ve had this before:
A man goes to the doctors and asks why he’s been feeling ill. The doctor examines him and replies “I’m sorry to tell you, you’ve got the disease known as Yellow 24.”
“What’s that?” the man asks.
“It means your internal organs have started turning yellow – you’ve got 24 hours to live”.
The man goes home and tells his wife the bad news. His wife says “Well, will you come to bingo with me tonight then? Otherwise you’ll never be able to.” The man agrees so he and his wife go to the bingo. He finds that he’s won the one-line and £10. He begins to think this isn’t such a bad day after all. Twenty minutes later, he’s won the full house and £150. He enters the lucky draw, worth £500, and wins that too. The bingo caller calls him up on stage.
He says “I don’t believe it, mate. You’ve won three competitions and a total of £660 in one night. You must be the luckiest man on the earth!”
The man says “Well, no, I’m not. I’ve got Yellow 24.”
The bingo caller looks down at the piece of paper he’s holding and starts clapping. “I don’t believe it; he’s won the raffle as well!”