As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”
She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.”
Ben Shapiro, an intensely musical individual, was burdened with a brother-in-law who had the virtue of being a successful businessman, but who was undeniably the least cultured person in town. Ben found this very humiliating and laboured to introduce the poor creature to the finer things in life.
At last, through much effort, Ben persuaded his brother-in-law to accompany him to a presentation of the opera ‘Carmen’. He held his breath, fearing some last-minute event would spoil everything, but the day came and Ben and his brother-in-law actually entered the opera house and took their places in an excellent box.
To Ben’s satisfaction the opera seemed to catch his brother-in-law’s fancy at once. He listened open-mouthed and round-eyed, following every move and absorbing every note.
Ben was absolutely triumphant when, as they were leaving the theatre, his brother-in-law was singing under his breath, “To-ray-a-dor-uh, guard-un! To-ray-a-dor, To-ray-a-dor!”
Ben said, beaming, “So you like the Toreador Song, do you?”
His brother-in-law replied with excitement, “Of course I do! And as a practical businessman I’m not afraid of making a prediction, either. I’m telling you, that song’s going to be a hit!”
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside.
Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!