Two rural church deacons were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.
One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup.”
The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make. God knows we’re in here… and he’s the only one who counts.”
The first deacon countered, “Yeah, but God won’t tell my wife.”
Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, “Sarah, I’ve invited three of my students to dinner tonight at 6:30, but I think I’ll give them a half-hour’s grace.”
“Professor, I’m as religious as the next person.” Sarah said shaking her head, “But even I think you’re over-doing it.”
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.
“A penny for your thoughts,” she said.
“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50.”