The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?”
“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast.”
Dear Abby letters best left unanswered…
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Two men lost their long-time drinking buddy to alcoholism. At the funeral, as they passed by the open casket, one remarked to the other, “Gee, Sam sure looks good, doesn’t he?”
The other replied, “He ought to; he hasn’t had a drink in a week.”