A man takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
The husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
Say, I heard you were at the ballet this evening.
Yep, I go to make my wife happy.
Where is she?
At the movies – she hates ballet.
After moving to the U.S., a Chinese doctor struggled to find work in a hospital. So, he opened a small clinic with a clever sign out front:
“Treatment for $20 — If not cured, get $100 back!”
One day, an American lawyer saw the sign and thought, “What a scam… but hey, easy money!” He walked in confidently.
Lawyer: “Doctor, I’ve lost my sense of taste.”
Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from Box No. 22. Three drops in his mouth.”
Lawyer: “Bleh! That’s kerosene!”
Doctor: “Congratulations — your taste is back. That’ll be $20.”
Annoyed but determined, the lawyer returned a few days later.
Lawyer: “I’ve lost my memory. I can’t remember anything.”
Doctor: “Nurse, Box No. 22 again. Three drops.”
Lawyer: “Wait! That’s kerosene again!”
Doctor: “Wonderful — your memory’s back! That’ll be $20.”
Now thoroughly frustrated, the lawyer made one last attempt to win.
Lawyer: “My eyesight is failing. I can’t see a thing!”
Doctor: “I’m sorry. I don’t have a cure for that. Here’s your $100.”
The doctor handed him a $20 bill.
Lawyer (squinting): “Hey, wait a minute… this is just $20!”
Doctor: “Fantastic! Your eyesight is restored. That’ll be $20.”