When you find a good wife, not only do you gain a best friend and companion, but you also receive a driving instructor for life!
An elderly man was staggering down the street and was stopped by a police officer who asked, “Just where are you going at 1:30 in the morning?”
The man replied, “To a lecture on the abuse of alcohol.”
The cop asked, “At this time of night? Where is it and who is giving it?”
The man said, “It’s at my house, and my wife will be giving it.”
And finally, I saw this doing the rounds on Facebook:
One morning Melania excitedly announced to Donald that she’d had an amazing dream.
“I dreamt that there was an incredible parade for you! There were fireworks and hundreds of thousands of people lining the street and cheering enthusiastically.”
“Wow,” said Donald. “Did I look good? Was my hair in place?”
“I couldn’t tell – it was a closed casket.”