Two elderly residents of a Florida mobile home park, a widower and a widow, had been friendly acquaintances. One evening, during a community supper at the activity center, they ended up sitting across from each other. As the evening wore on, laughter and conversation flowed.
Encouraged by the moment, the widower summoned his courage and asked, “Will you marry me?”
The widow paused, her face thoughtful and then she smiled warmly. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, I will.”
They parted that night with hearts full of joy and spirits lifted, each looking forward to a new chapter in their lives.
But the next morning, the widower began to worry. Try as he might, he couldn’t remember her answer. Had she said yes? Or no? Nervous, he picked up the phone and called her.
“I’m so sorry,” he began. “My memory isn’t what it used to be. Last night, when I asked if you’d marry me . . . did you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’?”
The widow chuckled softly. “I said yes,” she replied, her voice filled with affection. “And I meant it with all my heart.”
Then, with a playful lilt in her tone, she added, “And I’m so glad you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me!”
A man walks into a pub, orders a drink and then pulls out of his pocket a tiny little man about a foot high, with a piano. He puts them both on the bar and the little man starts playing Mozart as the man wistfully looks at them, sipping his beer.
The Barman watches on amazed for a while and then says “I know it may not be any of my business, but where did you find such a little guy that plays a piano so well? That’s a rare find.”
“Oh there’s a Genie outside granting one free wish to anyone, he’s probably still there”
The barman rushes outside and moments later one, then two, then loads of ducks start waddling into the bar, filling the place and creating absolute chaos. The barman comes back in flustered but scowling at the man, “You didn’t tell me the Genie was half deaf! I asked for a million bucks, not ducks!!”
The guy looks round and says “Do you really think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?”
“OLD” IS WHEN… Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”
“OLD” IS WHEN…Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
“OLD” IS WHEN…A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
“OLD” IS WHEN…Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
“OLD” IS WHEN…You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
“OLD” IS WHEN…You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
“OLD” IS WHEN…”Getting a little action” means I don’t need to take any fibre today.
“OLD” IS WHEN…”Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
“OLD” IS WHEN…An “all-nighter” means not getting up to go to the bathroom.