Author: Greg

24 August 2025 – Amusements

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to address the crowd of drinkers. He says, ‘I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.’

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the man who left shows back up, taps the Texan on the shoulder, and asks, ‘Is your bet still good?'”

The Texan says ‘yes’ and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into the 10 pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, ‘If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?’

The Irishman replies, ‘Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.’”

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Greg’s Liquorice Ice Cream

A creamy, spicy ice cream flavoured with tasty black liquorice candy.

INGREDIENTS

  • 6 egg yolks
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 1/4 cups heavy cream
  • 150 grams soft black liquorice candies
  • 2 tablespoons Pernod liqueur
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Whisk the egg yolks with the sugar in a large bowl. In a nonaluminum saucepan, combine the milk, heavy cream, and liquorice and bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring frequently so the liquorice melts. (If the liquorice resists melting, purée it with some hot milk.)
  2. Beat a little of the hot milk mixture into the eggs and then, in a steady stream, slowly whisk in the rest of the hot milk. Return the mixture to a pan over medium-low heat and cook, stirring constantly, until it thickens visibly and registers 165°F on a candy thermometer. Do not boil.
  3. Remove from the heat and stir in the Pernod liqueur and vanilla extract. Strain through a fine sieve into a bowl, discarding any solids. (I don’t bother – I quite like the little bits of liquorice). Cool, then chill in the refrigerator. Freeze as directed in an ice cream maker.

Greg’s World Famous Liquorice Ice Cream (PDF)

3 August 2025 – Amusements

When my wife and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, “Will it be long?”

The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, “How much of a wait?”

The woman looked up from her book and said, “Oh, about ten minutes.”

A short time later we heard an announcement over the loudspeaker: “Willette B. Long, your table is ready.”

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27 July 2025

Isn’t it interesting how some weeks your social schedule is full to over-flowing and then at other times it seems like weeks between engagements? That’s how our schedule seems to be at the moment. Last week we had visitors and a garden outing. This week, our diary was astonishingly clear (apart from a visit by the wasp man, more details below). Next week, in contrast, we have a plethora of engagements to look forward to. Hey ho, what’s to do?

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27 July 2025 – Amusements

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn’t get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.

Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.

He said, “Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn’t even make eye contact.”

“Oh,” said the waitress, “I thought you wanted more coffee.”

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