Greg – Page 67 – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

19 January 2020 – Amusements

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now” at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rear-view mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theatre.”

From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.”

My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.” Continue reading “19 January 2020 – Amusements”

12 January 2020

It’s been a good week. We had not one but two date nights, Penny had two bridge sessions, we got to borrow Bertie, the spaniel from down the road, for a day and had a lovely walk around the Edgecote estate. And, after four years of thinking about it, we finally got a new carpet laid in the lounge. I need a sit down after so much excitement.

12 January 2020 – Amusements

A New York woman is suing her surgeon claiming he was on his cell phone during her operation. In response, the doctor said, ‘For your information, I was Googling how to perform the surgery.’ Continue reading “12 January 2020 – Amusements”

5 January 2020

And a Happy New Year to you all! We celebrated the arrival of the new decade in our usual fashion – by snoring contentedly through midnight and much of the following morning. We can always hope that the New Year brings some positive change but I’m not holding my breath.

5 January 2020 – Amusements

A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of her husband.

“But why did you stab him over a hundred times?” asked the judge.

“Oh, your Honor,” replied the defendant, “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know how to switch off the electric carving knife!” Continue reading “5 January 2020 – Amusements”

29 December 2019

We hope you all enjoyed a marvellously marvellous Christmas – we did! And, we had a fun-filled, action-packed week beforehand with the unveiling of Penelope’s new kitchen, an outing to Stratford to see a terrific play and someone celebrated a birthday. What could be better?

And, it didn’t rain on Christmas Day (just every other day before and since).

29 December 2019 – Amusements

I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house. Continue reading “29 December 2019 – Amusements”

22 December 2019

Sorry for the tardy arrival of this week’s Picayune – we’ve been busy and someone has a birthday as well! Oops.

We’ve spent the last few days painting, decorating, cleaning, and moving furniture to enable us to have the Grand Reveal of the new kitchen. The builders finished on Thursday (just for the holiday break – they’ll be back again in the New Year, don’t worry). Thankfully, though, we just about completed all our tasks in time for the arrival of some special guests who made all the right noises and said all the right things so I guess it’s all been worth it?

22 December 2019 – Amusements

Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree. Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was “just up ahead.”

One year I snapped. “Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn’t exist. It’s like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn’t dead, doesn’t have too many bald spots and is straight.” Continue reading “22 December 2019 – Amusements”

15 December 2019

So, it’s definitely true. Turkeys do vote for Christmas. The electorate in the UK have decided that a pathological liar, a misogynistic racist narcissist is the best choice to lead this country into irrelevancy. What could possibly go wrong? A thoroughly sad and depressing result.