Greg's Occasional News & Views
Little Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for his birthday. “A baby brother,” he said. Later that year, his mother came home from the hospital with a baby boy.
Little Johnny was delighted. “And what would you like this year for your birthday?” his father asked.
He said, “If it isn’t too uncomfortable for mommy, I’d like a pony.” Continue reading “19 May 2019 – Amusements”
Now that our visitors have safely returned home it’s “back to normal” around here, whatever “normal” is. I suppose normal could be the crappy weather we’ve had for most of the week – it has been chucking it down and the temperatures have certainly been on the chilly side of things. So intense and continuous that the builders didn’t even bother to turn up two days this week – too wet for brick laying (and Monday was a bank holiday for May Day so that doesn’t even count). Here’s hoping that things take a turn for the better.
Continue reading “12 May 2019”“Jim, why don’t you play golf with Steve anymore?” asked a friend.
“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” Jim asked.
“Well, no, I suppose not,” admitted the friend.
“Neither will Steve,” replied Jim. Continue reading “12 May 2019 – Amusements”
It’s been a great(ish) week. The weather has been mixed and we’ve been passing a cold around amongst ourselves but we’ve had an excellent, excellent time with our visitors. We visited Coton Manor, Edgehill and Sulgrave in the week, Ben and Brex-Anna went to Paris and back (and we and Max survived each other in their absence), and we had a great family dinner with all our boys, their wives and our grandchildren together. Priceless.
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.” Continue reading “5 May 2019 – Amusements”
Oh my goodness, have we been busy! It’s been a great week.
Continue reading “28 April 2019”A weathered farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their Silver wedding anniversary. ‘Let’s kill a pig and have a big BBQ party, Homer,’ she suggested.’
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. ‘Gee, Ethel,’ he finally answered, ‘I don’t see why the pig should suffer for something that happened 25 years ago.'” Continue reading “28 April 2019 – Amusements”
So much to do and so little time! I am afraid this will be short & sweet this week – Ben, Brex-Anna and Max have arrived and we are planning to have too much fun to do anything else!
Continue reading “21 April 2019”Two resident doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A senior consultant had to pull them apart. “What’s all this about?” asked the consultant angrily.
“It’s the tax auditor in C ward,” said one. “He’s only got 2 days to live.”
“He had to be told.” said the second doctor.
“I know,” said the first, “but I wanted to be the one to tell him!” Continue reading “21 April 2019 – Amusements”
So now we know. Or, now we know a bit more than we knew before. But we still don’t know. What we do know is that the EU has given the UK until the end of October to come up with a credible plan to leave which can squeak through Parliament. What we still don’t know is what that credible plan might ultimately look like nor whether we shall be given another opportunity to vote on the plan, once we know what it looks like. An absolute shambles. I have to say, though, the new leaving date is an excellent metaphor – do you think the EU is having a joke? The first date was near enough April Fool’s Day; the new date is Halloween – Trick or Treat?
Continue reading “14 April 2019”