The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

15 November 2020 – Amusements

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

“No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult.” the man replied.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”

It’s been a glorious, glorious week. We’ve had a high pressure system hovering over the UK which has brought some beautiful bright blue skies with magnificent dazzling sunshine. Chilly, to be sure, with our first ground frosts of the year but we’ll take the dry, sunny weather any time.

8 November 2020 – Amusements

I was walking past an alley last night, when I heard, “Help! Help!” coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady’s handbag, but she was putting up a heck of a fight and wouldn’t let go.

I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn’t see anything.

I finally decided that I should help.

She was one tough old lady, but the three of us finally got that handbag.

1 November 2020

It’s been a (largely) miserable, wet and windy week. Lashings and lashings of rain and howling winds – I guess the summer is well and truly past.

1 November 2020 – Amusements

I was reading an article last night about fathers and daughters and memories came flooding back of the time I took my daughter out for her first pint.

Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got her a Fosters. She didn’t like it…so I had it.

Then I got her a Carling Black Label, she didn’t like it… so I had it.

It was the same with the 1664 Lager and Premium Dry Cider. By the time we got down to the Scotch I could hardly push the stroller back home.

25 October 2020

Dorset is beautiful, wherever you go . . .

Song and lyrics by the Yetties (also performed by the Wurzels if that’s your pleasure). And, indeed, it is strikingly beautiful. Marvellous coastlines, stunning clifftop paths, luscious green fields and gorgeous deep blue skies (when the sun is shining).

25 October 2020 – Amusements

I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.

18 October 2020

We’re back! After a fabulously refreshing four days in Dorset. The weather was simply gorgeous, the cottage in which we were staying was outstanding and in a most extraordinarily idyllic setting just at the foot of Golden Cap and Dorset was gorgeous in the sunshine.

18 October 2020 – Amusements

Q: My child does not like fish. What can I replace it with?

A: A cat. Cats love fish.

11 October 2020

It’s been a week of mixed (weather) fortunes – lots of rain and high winds with the occasional glimpse of some sunshine. The weather folk tend to describe it as “scattered clouds.” I think it might more accurately be described as scattered sunshine, but what do I know?