One week before her wedding, a mother pulls aside her daughter (and bride-to-be). She says, “I will now give you the advice that has been passed down from generation to generation, from woman to woman.”
The daughter listened attentively, curious as to what the advice would be.
The mom continued, “Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.”
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was approached by a friend who laughingly remarked, “I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?”
“Oh, not any more, he doesn’t,” the widow replied.
“What stopped him?”
“I started talking about my next husband.”
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.”
“Well, what are you going to do, then?” Luther asks.
“Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.”
“Yeah,” Luther agrees.
“Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again.”
“I remember,” Luther says.
“Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”
“Yep,” Luther says. “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”
“Well,” Billy Bob says, “this year I’m taking Earlene with me.”