Greg – Page 23 – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

9 June 2024

Oh my goodness, it’s been a busy week! That may have something to do with the fact that yesterday was the Moreton Pinkney Summer Garden competition and the Head Gardener and her hapless assistant have spent every spare moment in between the showers to ensure that our garden is a worthy entrant in what is a very popular and bitterly-fought competition.

9 June 2024 – Amusements

Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.

Billy-Bob asked Bubba, “If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an’ slept with your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?”

Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think so…. but it sho would make us even.”

2 June 2024

More rain interspersed with the odd bit of sunshine and not very warm temperatures. I had thought that the central heating had been retired for the remainder of this season but, alas, I was mistaken. Ms Playchute requested a re-igniting and a fire in the wood burner in the lounge! Here it is June, for goodness sakes!

Having said all that, this morning is absolutely glorious with bright sunshine under a clear, cloudless sky.

2 June 2024 – Amusements

Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.

“One thing about Jim,” his buddy said to the bartender, “he knows when to stop.”

26 May 2024

I forgot to say – we’re away this weekend. Again. So, this will be a very brief and boring Picayune this week. No change there then.

Sorry/You’re Welcome.

26 May 2024 – Amusements

A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalogue. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila.”

“T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, as the girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught.

“I just can’t find it,” she said.

“What book are you looking for, honey?” the librarian asked.

Replied the little girl, “Tequila Mockingbird.”

19 May 2024

And, we’re back! Sorry.

We had a fabulous week in a surprisingly warm and sunny Ireland – what are the chances of that?

19 May 2024 – Amusements

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

5 May 2024

It’s been a mixed-bag of a week – more rain (no surprise there) but a couple of relatively sunny days with fairly reasonable temperatures. Penny was even able, with some modest assistance from me, to get the lawns mowed for the first time in about a fortnight.

5 May 2024 – Amusements

One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a sidewalk cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last person in the bar except for a chap sleeping at one of the tables.

The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill. “Would monsieur care for another drink?” asked the Frenchman.

“No thanks, I imagine you want to close up. Why don’t you send that other fellow home?”

“Well, I should, but each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and pays it again.”