Author: Greg

When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us.

“So what changed your mind?” I asked him.

“I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, ‘You’re interested in someone who’s 104?!'”

Continue reading “4 December 2022 – Amusements”

After years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

“Yes, you were son,” his mother said as she started to cry softly. “But it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”

Continue reading “27 November 2022 – Amusements”

Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, “The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons.”

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”

The first spaceman says, “I don’t think so. They have them aimed at themselves.”

Continue reading “20 November 2022 – Amusements”

A man was marooned on a desert island for five years. One day a beautiful woman arrived in a wet suit.

“When did you last have a smoke?” she asked.

“Five years ago,” said the man.

She pulled a Cuban cigar out of her wet suit and he smoked it.

She unzipped her wet suit a bit and asked, “When did you last have a drink?”

“Five years ago,” he said.

She pulled a bottle of 20-year-old Scotch out of her wet suit and gave it to the man who had a drink.

She unzipped her wet suit a bit more and said, “And when was the last time you played around?”

The man looked at her in amazement. “You’re not telling me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there?”

Continue reading “13 November 2022 – Amusements”

Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn’t there if he can buy her a drink.  

The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine’s Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says, “I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?”  

The mathematician replies, “Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there.”  

The bartender raises his eyebrows. “Really? Interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know –she might say yes.”  

The mathematician laughs. “Yeah, right — how likely is THAT to happen?”  

Continue reading “6 November 2022 – Amusements”