“I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me, “What do you do at a red light?”
I said, “I don’t know, look around, listen to the radio.”
Continue reading “9 January 2022 – Amusements”Author: Greg
2 January 2022
And a happy New Year to you all. We did essentially the same thing we’ve done every New Year’s Eve since the millennium, I think. We were up in bed snoring long before it turned midnight in the UK. But, celebrating the new year in Antananarivo sounds much more enjoyable than revelling in Trafalgar Square or, indeed, the Upper Green, Moreton Pinkney.
Continue reading “2 January 2022”2 January 2022 – Amusements
During World War II Richard Wynn, on flight duty with the 8th Air Force Division in Europe was shot down and captured by the Germans. After a year as prisoner of war, he escaped and made his way back to his bomber group in England. One of his first acts there was to hunt up the corporal on duty in the parachute building.
“Corporal,” he said, “a year ago I had occasion to use one of the parachutes that your men had packed and I want you to know how delighted I was to find it in perfect working order. I give you my deepest compliments and appreciation.”
“You know, Lieutenant, funny thing,” the corporal replied. “In this work we never get any complaints.”
Continue reading “2 January 2022 – Amusements”26 December 2021
And a Happy Christmas to you all – I hope you had a lovely time with, preferably, families and/or friends. Although our Christmas Day was relaxed (just the two of us), we had a fabulous time with Adam, Ava and Jessie on Christmas Eve and today we are looking forward to Nick, Lucy and Annabelle as well as Adam, Ava and Jessie coming here for some more celebratory diversions. (Provided none of us test positive for Covid in the meantime and also provided the idiot currently occupying Number 10 doesn’t realise that he should have implemented restrictions long ago and decides to finally do the right thing today. On second thoughts, there’s no chance of him doing the right thing so I think we’re OK on that score).
26 December 2021 – Amusements
A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them about a conversation she overheard.
One boy said, “We’re Catholic, and we are going to Christmas Mass.”
“Were Jewish,” said another child. “And we’re going to have a Hanukkah celebration.
“Madison chimed in, “We’re Texans, and we’re going to have a barbecue.”
Continue reading “26 December 2021 – Amusements”19 December 2021
It’s been a quiet almost serene week – I guess we must be between storms. Do start sending in your suggestions as to what the next storm should be called – it needs to begin with “C” after Storms Arwen and Barra.
Continue reading “19 December 2021”19 December 2021 – Amusements
Jennifer was a pretty 18-year-old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. ‘How much is this gold tinsel garland’.
The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, ‘This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre’.
‘Wow, that’s great’, said Jennifer, ‘I’ll take 12 metres’.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, ‘My Grandpa will settle the bill.’
Continue reading “19 December 2021 – Amusements”12 December 2021
It’s been a pretty good week, in spite of the best Storm Barra could throw at us. Again, it mostly hammered the north and west of the country but we also had lashings of rain and gusty winds. I wonder if there’s anything in this Climate Change stuff? We’ve had two major storms in just over two weeks – Storm Arwen and now Storm Barra. At this rate they’re going to run out of letters of the alphabet by about next June.
Continue reading “12 December 2021”12 December 2021 – Amusements
My wife has these days when she wants us to “talk about things.”
On one of these occasions, we were discussing our future so I asked her, “What would you do if I die before you do?”
After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing situation with two or three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
Then she asked me, “What will you do if I die first?”
I replied, “Probably the same thing.”
Continue reading “12 December 2021 – Amusements”5 December 2021
It’s been a week. Just imagine that! We had a few days away at the end of the previous week and have spent most of the rest of the time trying to keep warm. My goodness it’s been cold!
Continue reading “5 December 2021”