Greg's Occasional News & Views
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing ‘Start123.'”
Continue reading “10 January 2021 – Amusements”
And a Happy New Year to you all! As usual, we were fast asleep long before midnight and therefore missed, apparently, a smattering of rockets and fireworks and someone playing the bagpipes in the village. That was a narrow escape then.
It’s been a decent enough week – cold to be sure and we even had some snow. A few flakes. Four, I think.
If you’re singing Christmas songs on your neighbor’s lawn at night with your church group, it’s called “Carolling.”
But if you’re doing it alone with no pants on, it’s called “drunk and disorderly.” Continue reading “3 January 2021 – Amusements”
On Saturday of last week the Moreton Pinkney Garden Club organised some Christmas festivities up by the parish church. In each of the years we’ve lived in the village there has always been a Christmas Eve gathering on the Upper Green. Christmas carols, mulled wine and mince pies and a visit from Father Christmas.
Continue reading “27 December 2020”This from my friend Julie.
Just in case anyone needs some lessons about governments…
The Forecaster
The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.
So the king and the queen went fishing…
On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm.”
The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”
So the king continued on his way, however, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey.
If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that… it will rain.”
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
The practice is unbroken to this date and is especially prevalent in the UK. Continue reading “27 December 2020 – Amusements”
Well, here we are. It’s the last Sunday before Christmas and we are almost ready to dump 2020 into life’s great recycling bin and look forward to something (anything?) better next year. So much we’ve missed doing this year and so many people we’ve missed seeing. Next year’s going to be very busy making up for all that lost time!
Continue reading “20 December 2020”The World Giving Index released a report yesterday that found for the first time ever, men are more likely than women to donate money to charity. And even MORE likely to donate to Charity’s friends Crystal, Bambi, and Cinnamon. Continue reading “20 December 2020 – Amusements”
What an uninspiring week – cold, wet, grey, freezing, foggy, misty . . . glimpses of the sun few and far between.
And the “news” is equally uninspiring. Who could have imagined that the Tories would give us both World-Beating incompetence in dealing with Covid and the economic calamity that is Brexit? At the same time.
Continue reading “13 December 2020”I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.
“Now,” he said, “what do I have to do to collect?
Hooray! Lockdown is over! Now, we’ve moved on to a Tiered Lockdown which is, in our case, just about the same as the previous lockdown. Hooray!
Continue reading “6 December 2020”