Author: Greg

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.” Continue reading “3 February 2019 – Amusements”

“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” Bill told his friend Doug.

“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Doug suggested.

“I just don’t think I can do that to my wife.”

“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!”

So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”

“Forget it,” said his wife. “I’ve tried it so many times and it’s never worked.” Continue reading “27 January 2019 – Amusements”

Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.

“Not really,” Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, “I only bought a little pot.” Continue reading “20 January 2019 – Amusements”

During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signalled a car to pull over to the curb.

When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him.

“Does your dog have a license?” he asked.

“Oh, no,” the man said, “He doesn’t need one; I always do the driving.” Continue reading “13 January 2019 – Amusements”

I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a “social session” with family or friends.

Well, two days ago, this happened to me. I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers followed by a couple of bottles of rather nice red wine and vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something I’ve never done before…. I took a taxi home.

Sure enough on the way there was a police roadblock, but as it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don’t know  where I got it, and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it..

So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call. Continue reading “6 January 2019 – Amusements”