An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End. On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air or beneath the sea. The Americans were incredulous.
Then later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.
“Jacky,” said the tour guide, “what are you tracking and what are you listening for?”
The aborigine replied, “Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Valiant Ute. It’s red. The left front tire is bald. The front end is out of whack and it has dents in every panel. There are 9 fellas in the back, all drinking warm beer. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat.”
The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.
“Wow, man! How do you know all that?” asked one American.
The Aborigine replied, “I fell out of the thing about half an hour ago.”
16 June 2024
It’s been a great(ish) week. We’ve just about recovered from the exertions of preparing for the Summer Garden Competition. Sadly, ever since, it seems the weather has conspired to keep us from enjoying our wonderfully manicured garden – just a spot more rain just in case we think we’ve not had enough.
Continue reading “16 June 2024”16 June 2024 – Amusements
A woman is in her ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable. On top of everything, her pleas for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by her husband.
One day she told him, “I hope in your next life you get to be pregnant!”
He replied, “I hope in your next life you get to be married to someone who’s pregnant!”
9 June 2024
Oh my goodness, it’s been a busy week! That may have something to do with the fact that yesterday was the Moreton Pinkney Summer Garden competition and the Head Gardener and her hapless assistant have spent every spare moment in between the showers to ensure that our garden is a worthy entrant in what is a very popular and bitterly-fought competition.
Continue reading “9 June 2024”9 June 2024 – Amusements
Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.
Billy-Bob asked Bubba, “If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an’ slept with your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?”
Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think so…. but it sho would make us even.”
2 June 2024
More rain interspersed with the odd bit of sunshine and not very warm temperatures. I had thought that the central heating had been retired for the remainder of this season but, alas, I was mistaken. Ms Playchute requested a re-igniting and a fire in the wood burner in the lounge! Here it is June, for goodness sakes!
Having said all that, this morning is absolutely glorious with bright sunshine under a clear, cloudless sky.
Continue reading “2 June 2024”2 June 2024 – Amusements
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.
“One thing about Jim,” his buddy said to the bartender, “he knows when to stop.”
26 May 2024
I forgot to say – we’re away this weekend. Again. So, this will be a very brief and boring Picayune this week. No change there then.
Sorry/You’re Welcome.
Continue reading “26 May 2024”26 May 2024 – Amusements
A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalogue. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila.”
“T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, as the girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught.
“I just can’t find it,” she said.
“What book are you looking for, honey?” the librarian asked.
Replied the little girl, “Tequila Mockingbird.”
Continue reading “26 May 2024 – Amusements”19 May 2024
And, we’re back! Sorry.
We had a fabulous week in a surprisingly warm and sunny Ireland – what are the chances of that?
Continue reading “19 May 2024”