FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
5 May 2024
It’s been a mixed-bag of a week – more rain (no surprise there) but a couple of relatively sunny days with fairly reasonable temperatures. Penny was even able, with some modest assistance from me, to get the lawns mowed for the first time in about a fortnight.
Continue reading “5 May 2024”5 May 2024 – Amusements
One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a sidewalk cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last person in the bar except for a chap sleeping at one of the tables.
The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill. “Would monsieur care for another drink?” asked the Frenchman.
“No thanks, I imagine you want to close up. Why don’t you send that other fellow home?”
“Well, I should, but each time I wake him up he asks for the bill and pays it again.”
Continue reading “5 May 2024 – Amusements”28 April 2024
Hmm. It’s been a tolerably decent week. Intermittent sunny skies although still very chilly with a biting cold north wind. The garden is slowly starting to wake up and Ms Playchute has spent many a happy moment outdoors when the rain is absent. She’s also enjoyed a number of fine walks with family and friends, i.e., not with me!
Continue reading “28 April 2024”28 April 2024 – Amusements
An old country boy with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a Game Warden.
The Game Warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing licence, please?”
“No, sir. Don’t need one. These here are my pet fish.”
“Pet fish?” the Game Warden barked.
“Yep, once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ‘em swim ‘round for a while. Then, when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take ‘em home.”
“HOGWASH! You’re under arrest.”
He said, “It’s the truth. I’ll show ya! We do this all the time!!”
“We do, now, do we?” smirked the warden. “PROVE it!”
He released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, “Well?”
“Well, what?
The warden asked, “When are you going to call them back?”
“Call who back?”
“The FISH!” replied the warden.
“What fish?”
Continue reading “28 April 2024 – Amusements”21 April 2024
The weather, you will be surprised to know, has been very variable – sunny spells, sudden downpours – April showers and all that. Similarly, my sciatic pain has also been variable this week – peaks and troughs now replaced with good progress & less discomfort followed by a step or two backwards. Still, the overall trend is continuing in the right direction so keep those fingers crossed.
Continue reading “21 April 2024”21 April 2024 – Amusements
Jay went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!”
“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you.”
“How much do you charge?”
“A hundred dollars per visit.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Jay never went back. Sometime later he met the doctor on the street.
“Why didn’t you ever come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.
“For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for 10 dollars.”
“Is that so! How?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed.”
Continue reading “21 April 2024 – Amusements”14 April 2024
Busy, busy week. Lots of errands to carry out, one of which was totally unnecessary due to my complete incompetence. We also had Jessie for an overnighter which is always great fun if somewhat demanding (for Grandma, that is, who does all the heavy lifting).
Continue reading “14 April 2024”14 April 2024 – Amusements
I came, I saw. I forgot what I was doing.
I retraced my steps and got distracted on my way back.
I have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.
Continue reading “14 April 2024 – Amusements”7 April 2024
Wow! What a week – lots of entertainment activities and lots of rain. Penny and Daisy positively squelch across the landscape these days. And no sign of it stopping anytime soon – Storm Kathryn is blowing in from the east. Also, I’m still having good days, bad days with my sciatica afliction but on the whole I am very, very much improved over those miserable first few weeks. Epidural injection this Friday so I’ll be running the London Marathon after all! Keep your fingers crossed.
Continue reading “7 April 2024”