Whew! What a week! It feels like we’ve been busier than the proverbial one-armed wallpaper hanger. We’ve had some guests for the week, we’ve visited a number of local attractions and it feels like I’ve made forty-seven trips to a couple of our “local” airports. Hmm, I think I need another vacation.
Continue reading “17 September 2023”17 September 2023 – Amusements
Summer was coming to a close. The Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be severe or mild.
Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught old secrets; when he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell how the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be safe, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be bad and that everybody should collect wood and be prepared.
Being a practical leader, he had an idea after a few days. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked “Is the coming winter going to be bad?”
“It looks like this winter is going to be terrible,” the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. “Is it going to be a cold winter?”
“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “It definitely will be very severe.”
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”
“Absolutely,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”
“How can you be so sure?” the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, “Because the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”
Continue reading “17 September 2023 – Amusements”10 September 2023
Whew! Scorcio Maximo! It’s been a hot week – highest temperatures of the year (in the UK) so far. Thank goodness our government is planning to issue licenses for new oil fields in the North Sea and coal mines in Cumbria. Climate change? Net Zero? Who cares?
To continue our journey home. . . It was a damp, drizzly day as we packed up our belongings, put a wet dog in the van and set off to our next destination, Josselin in Brittany, home of our lovely friend Jane. The journey was fine, it did stop raining and the sun was shining again when we finally pulled up outside her home. Two nights with a proper bed and a decent shower – lovely.
10 September 2023 – Amusements
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, “I got shingles.”
She said, “Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a seat.”
Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.”
So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, “Change into this gown and wait in the examining room.”
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, “I got shingles.”
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, “Shingles.”
The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, “I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can’t find shingles anywhere. ”
The man replied, “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”
Continue reading “10 September 2023 – Amusements”
3 September 2023
And so, the excursion continues, from Saint-Émilion to Saumur.
Continue reading “3 September 2023”3 September 2023 – Amusements
Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer. It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.
I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect: It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal.
She’s still laughing.
27 August 2023
And so, far too quickly, it was time to say “good-bye” to the family and strike out on our own! From Douelle to St Emilion.
27 August 2023 – Amusements
A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he’d like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had. Pleased with his response, they pressed on. “What would you like to take when you attend college?” they asked the little boy.
After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, “The refrigerator, if you can get along without it.”
Continue reading “27 August 2023 – Amusements”20 August 2023
Bonjour! We’re back after an absolutely splendid nearly three-week sojourn in la belle France. We had a marvellous time with family and friends – so much fun, I’m afraid, that we will have to give you a summary in bits and pieces. The bad news – that means I will inflict photos and descriptions on you for the next four weeks or so. The good news – I will probably have forgotten most of it before I get round to telling you all about it. Buckle up.
Continue reading “20 August 2023”20 August 2023 – Amusements
One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
“Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?”
“Have you tried sandpaper?” Pinocchio hadn’t, so he went to try it.
“Pinocchio,” said Gepetto a few weeks later. “How did the problem work out with your girlfriend?”
Pinocchio replied, “Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?”
Continue reading “20 August 2023 – Amusements”