Oops! Where has the time gone? We have Ben, Brex-Anna and Max staying with us at the moment and Nick, Lucy and Annabelle and Adam, Ava, Jessie and Julieta are due for lunch soon. So, this will be a non-posting day. Sorry/you’re welcome.
Continue reading “23 July 2023”23 July 2023 – Amusements
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: “You can have mine.”
Continue reading “23 July 2023 – Amusements”16 July 2023
What a contrast – we’ve gone from Scorcio! with blistering temperatures to Non-Scorcio! with grey skies, wind and, on occasion, lashings of rain. Hey ho, it’s good for the garden they tell me.
Continue reading “16 July 2023”16 July 2023 – Amusements
“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.
“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered.
“But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”
“But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore,” protested Jack.
“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you,” Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.
“Yup,” Scott answered.
“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
“I forgot.”
After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady, if that were my cat, I’d put him outside!”
I was unhappy with my job, so I submitted my resignation. I was sure I’d have no trouble finding a new position, because there was a shortage of people with my skill. I emailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers, attaching a copy of my resume to each one. Weeks later, I was dismayed and bewildered that I hadn’t received even one request for an interview. Finally I received a response that explained it all: “Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagna recipe.”
9 July 2023
It’s been another one of those busy, busy weeks. An outing to the circus last Sunday, a Garden Club expedition to a magnificent local garden, a spell of child minding and oodles of time and energy expended getting ready for the sometimes, occasional Moreton Pinkney Open Gardens later today. Drop in if you get the chance.
Continue reading “9 July 2023”9 July 2023 – Amusements
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife and asked, “Is this your wife, sir?”
Shocked, I answered, “Yes it is.”
They said, “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”
I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality and she’s good with the kids.”
Continue reading “9 July 2023 – Amusements”
2 July 2023
Well, what a great few days! We had some extra special, VIP visitors which inevitably necessitated a couple of outings including last Sunday’s baseball game in London as well as a family get-together with lots of fun activities – badminton and Jessica’s performance of the piece she is singing (solo) at her annual show. And, the weather was grand!
Continue reading “2 July 2023”2 July 2023 – Amusements
In California’s Sonoma Valley where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like “well-aged Caumeneur.”
The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary.
“Could you please spell that?” she asked.
“You know” said the woman impatiently “C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e.”
Continue reading “2 July 2023 – Amusements”
25 June 2023
No news this week – sorry/you’re welcome. We have our very good friends the Boyntons visiting and we’ve been busy, busy, busy. We’re off as I speak to the MLB in London game. It’s not Dodger Stadium and it is certainly not Fenway but the Olympic Stadium is as good a place as many to watch some baseball on a hot, sunny Sunday afternoon.
Continue reading “25 June 2023”25 June 2023 – Amusements
Another of those pesky technical support issues:
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”
Continue reading “25 June 2023 – Amusements”