The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

17 May 2026

A tolerable week on the whole, I guess – we’ve had a fair bit of rain interspersed with some bright, sunny spells. It’s been pretty “fresh” though and we’ve even resorted to lighting the wood burner in the evenings a couple of times. In May? Hmm.

17 May 2026 – Amusements

Someone sent these to me sometime ago. If it was you, let me know so that I can give you the appropriate acknowledgment.

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

10 May 2026

Good morning. I hope the sun is shining wherever you are. We’ve had a decent enough week, a bit of rain and “sunny intervals” as the weather people call it. We’ll take it.

10 May 2026 – Amusements

Mr. Trent always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for four thirty on Friday afternoons.

When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, he explained. “I will tell you why … I’ve learned that’s the only time of the week when none of you seem to want to argue with me.”

3 May 2026

Another terrific week – mainly blue skies and warm to almost hot temperatures. Indeed, on Friday I ran across an article which suggested that the temperature in London was going to be higher than Athens and Haw aii. They were predicting something approaching 27^o C (81^o F) which would be the hottest day so far this year. The glorious weather has only been slightly soiled by a spot or two of rain and the occasional rumble of thunder, mainly in the evening or overnight. Never mind, the gardeners “need” the rain.

3 May 2026 – Amusements

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Tortoises’.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post tortoise’ was.

The old farmer said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top, that’s a post tortoise.”

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with.”

26 April 2026

It’s been another fine week. We’ve had glorious sunshine for most of the week with reasonably tolerable temperatures – it got up to 21^o on Friday (almost 70^o F) although the wind has made it feel a bit fresher. The bi-fold doors have been swung open and the solar panels are working overtime!

26 April 2026 – Amusements

Sue phones her husband at work, “Dan, do you have time for a chat?”

“Sorry, darling, this is not a good time – I’m about to go into a board meeting.”

“But this won’t take long,” Sue says, “I just want to tell you some good news and some bad news.”

“I really haven’t the time,” says Dan, “so just quickly tell me the good news.”

“Oh, all right then, the good news is that the airbag on your brand new Mercedes works very well.”

19 April 2026

Another great and busy week! And, we don’t have any visitors – how can we still be busy now that all of our houseguests have gone?

19 April 2026 – Amusements

I was walking through the woods the other day when I came across a suitcase lying on the ground. When I opened it I discovered three fox cubs. I immediately rang the local animal rescue centre to get some advice.

“Are the fox cubs moving?” the person on the telephone asked.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, “but that would explain the suitcase.”