Greg's Occasional News & Views
An English professor announced to the class; “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.”
From the back of the room a voice called out, “Yeah? So, what are the words?”
Continue reading “6 September 2020 – Amusements”We could do with more Scorcio and less Blowio and Wettio! It’s been a miserable week – Storm Francis blew through with gale force winds and lashings and lashings of rain. Now, the weather has pivoted and we’re sucking in cold winds from the Arctic with temperatures more akin to late November or December. The forecasters are suggesting that Monday, the August Bank Holiday, could be the coldest on record. Freezio!
Continue reading “30 August 2020”Two girl friends were meeting over coffee and one was describing her recent date with a handsome young lawyer.
“So, what was it like?” asked the friend.
“Well, we went to this swanky restaurant out on the bay. I had lobster bisque and afterwards we went back to my apartment and yada, yada, yada. He never called me again!”
“Wait,” said the friend. “You ‘yada, yada, yadad’ over the best part!”
“No,” she said. “I mentioned the bisque.”
Continue reading “30 August 2020 – Amusements”Non-Scorcio Maximo! Wild and windy instead!
We’ve had what must be considered to have been a very busy week given the continuing restrictions on all our lives. We were out for a lovely walk early in the week, we joined the Eat Out to Help Out brigade, visited (separately) with two very lovely good friends and put ourselves through the wringer that is the annual village horticultural jamboree. Phew!
Continue reading “23 August 2020”The party’s host paid me a great compliment. “You are a good-looking woman,” he said. “Honest–I’ve had only one drink.”
My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, “Imagine how great she’ll look after two or three.”
A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” -Lisa Kirk
Continue reading “16 August 2020 – Amusements”Scorcio Maximo! Wow, it’s been a hot, hot week. Wednesday it was up to 37o in Moreton Pinkney-on-sea (98.6o Fahrenheit for those who prefer old money). Thankfully, it began to cool down on Thursday and we were under an Amber warning for thunderstorms and showers – a month’s worth of rain in an hour. Sadly, all we got was a bit of a smattering while seemingly everywhere else received their full deluge. Oh well, at least the sunflowers were spared another battering.
Continue reading “16 August 2020”Phew – Scorcio!
Another very pleasant week and then another scorching heatwave for the weekend – lovely if it weren’t for all those brainless zombies who flock to the crowded beaches to spread Covid-19 amongst themselves.
Continue reading “9 August 2020”A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam.
“I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B’ for the test.”
There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, “Anyone else? This is your last chance.”
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. “I’m glad to see you believe in yourselves,” he said. “You all get ‘A’s.” Continue reading “9 August 2020 – Amusements”
Phew – Scorcio! After a perfectly reasonable start to the week, Thursday and Friday were blazing hot – glorious from my perspective but too hot for a lot of the villagers who were on the verge of melting on Friday afternoon (33o Celsius, 91o in old money). Not to worry though – on Saturday things returned to “normal” – only 22o, a lovely 70o Fahrenheit.
Continue reading “2 August 2020”