Oh, it’s been a busy, chaotic yet productive week in Moreton Pinkney. We survived the village fête, the plumber has been and carried out his first fix and the builders arrived on Wednesday to start the Great Break Through! We are now thoroughly covered in dust and look forward to spending the next couple of months in a similar state of messiness! Oh, the joy.
Continue reading “21 July 2019”21 July 2019 – Amusements
I’d just come out of a Supermarket with a roasted chicken, French fries, large chips, and a 12 pack of beer.
A poor homeless man sat on the curb and said to me as I passed by, “I haven’t eaten for two days!”
I told him, “That’s great. I wish I had your will power.” Continue reading “21 July 2019 – Amusements”
14 July 2019
Another decent week – what are the chances of that? A bit grey and muggy on a couple of days but reasonably sunny and warm otherwise. Long may it continue.
14 July 2019 – Amusements
A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in down town Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”
Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”
Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?” Continue reading “14 July 2019 – Amusements”
7 July 2019
Having complained for weeks about our crappy weather I guess I must commend it when it proves to be delightful. So, just to set the record straight, we have had some gloriously sunny days over the past week with the occasional scorcher of a day thrown in. Lovely.
Continue reading “7 July 2019”7 July 2019 – Amusements
Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for a while. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, “Whistle, to let that young couple know that someone can hear them.”
To which Murphy replies, “Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me?” Continue reading “7 July 2019 – Amusements”
30 June 2019
Short and sweet this week! Off to London this afternoon to see the second of the two Red Sox – Yankee games at the Olympic Stadium. Our dear friends Chip and Leca Boynton are with us, the weather has been marvellously co-operative, the kitchen extension is battened and felted ready for slating and we’ve even enjoyed a few meals al fresco. What a difference a few days can make.
Continue reading “30 June 2019”30 June 2019 – Amusements
Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment.
One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, “Do you know what caused the fall?”
“No,” the woman nervously replied. “What?” Continue reading “30 June 2019 – Amusements”
23 June 2019
Quite a productive week in a couple of key areas even though the weather has continued to be less than magnificent. Longest day of the year yesterday so it’s all downhill from here.
23 June 2019 – Amusements
Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH!
Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analysed.
When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH! Continue reading “23 June 2019 – Amusements”