The minister’s wife was a wonder at conserving food and rarely had to throw away a bit of it. At one meal she gave her pastor husband nothing but leftovers that the parson viewed with great disdain. He began to pick at the food, causing his wife to say, “Dear, you forgot the blessing.”
“Listen, sweetheart, if you can show me one item that hasn’t been blessed at least two times, I can’t see what another prayer can do for it.”
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A month later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What the heck was that all about?”
A man picks up his golf-indifferent girlfriend after he has come from the links. While he’s driving the tees in his pocket fall out. His girlfriend asks, “Harry, what are those things that just fell out of your pockets?”
“Oh, those are called tees. I put my balls on them when I’m driving.”
“Oh, well. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.”