Greg – Page 32 – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

9 July 2023

It’s been another one of those busy, busy weeks. An outing to the circus last Sunday, a Garden Club expedition to a magnificent local garden, a spell of child minding and oodles of time and energy expended getting ready for the sometimes, occasional Moreton Pinkney Open Gardens later today. Drop in if you get the chance.

9 July 2023 – Amusements

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife and asked, “Is this your wife, sir?”

Shocked, I answered, “Yes it is.”

They said, “I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”

I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality and she’s good with the kids.”

2 July 2023

Well, what a great few days! We had some extra special, VIP visitors which inevitably necessitated a couple of outings including last Sunday’s baseball game in London as well as a family get-together with lots of fun activities – badminton and Jessica’s performance of the piece she is singing (solo) at her annual show. And, the weather was grand!

2 July 2023 – Amusements

In California’s Sonoma Valley where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like “well-aged Caumeneur.”

The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary.

“Could you please spell that?” she asked.

“You know” said the woman impatiently “C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e.”

25 June 2023

No news this week – sorry/you’re welcome. We have our very good friends the Boyntons visiting and we’ve been busy, busy, busy. We’re off as I speak to the MLB in London game. It’s not Dodger Stadium and it is certainly not Fenway but the Olympic Stadium is as good a place as many to watch some baseball on a hot, sunny Sunday afternoon.

25 June 2023 – Amusements

Another of those pesky technical support issues:

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”

18 June 2023

And, we’re back again. I hope you enjoyed your week off as much as we did. We had a splendid weekend with friends on the south coast, a sweltering visit to a very impressive National Trust property, a great meal out and an excellent and highly amusing evening’s entertainment at the Brighton Dome. What more could anyone want?

18 June 2023 – Amusements

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.

As the evening draws to a close, Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is.

“Gentlemen! Discreet? I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me.”

Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he wants. Rippington says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”

She hollers, “TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!”

Rippington says, “I’ll tell him.

4 June 2023

A very busy, almost hectic, week! Weather’s been good, especially at the end of the week when we’ve had lovely blue skies, sunshine and moderately decent temperatures. There is one individual in our household who does occasionally “complain” about how hot it is. And, just to be clear, that’s neither Daisy nor me.

4 June 2023 – Amusements

The secret of enjoying a good wine is to open the bottle to allow it to breathe. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.