Greg – Page 35 – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

19 March 2023

It’s been a pretty decent week – we’ve had a fair bit of rain so the fields are sodden and muddy but it’s also been very mild, on the whole. I took Daisy across the fields on Friday morning and had to shed my jacket – it was sweltering!

19 March 2023 – Amusements

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text;

“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”

He replied, “I am on the toilet. Please advise.”

12 March 2023

It’s been a grand week – apart from the weather and the plague which infected me early in the week. Other than that, . . .

12 March 2023 – Amusements

As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”

She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.”

5 March 2023

A good week – fairly quiet at the beginning accelerating to a frenetic climax towards the end of the week. I suppose it’s better than being full-on all the time or sitting twiddling our thumbs with nothing to do. Hmm, now that I think about it, twiddling my thumbs sounds okay to me.

5 March 2023 – Amusements

1. Going to bed early
2. Not leaving my house
3. Not going to a party

My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.

26 February 2023

What a lovely weekend (last weekend). We had the Waltons and the Kelly-Browns staying and we enjoyed much mirth and amusement as is always the case whenever we get together. We had a nice cultural outing to Stratford and a leisurely stroll around a plethora of snowdrops. Very nice.

26 February 2023 – Amusements

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. “When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I’d get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves of bread, and a magazine, some new blue jeans, all for a dollar!

Then Grandpa said sadly, “You can’t do that anymore because they got those darn video cameras everywhere.”

19 February 2023

We had a great time last weekend – Cirque du Soliel with Annabelle on Sunday was outstanding and Jessie’s overnighter passed without incident. This week we’ve been engaged in deep-clean operations for the visitations of our good friends the Waltons and the Kelly-Browns. You’ll have to wait until next weekend to see how that went.

19 February 2023 – Amusements

We’ve had these before, I suspect.

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him.

“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.

“Mother,” he replied, “they’re such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won’t stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night.”

“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?”

“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes.”