Greg – Page 44 – The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

1 May 2022 – Amusements

We’ve had these before . . .

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free… you either married it or gave birth to it.

24 April 2022

And, we’re back! A great few days in Felixstowe (much to our surprise) and a new addition to the family. It’s been an action-packed couple of weeks since we saw you last.

24 April 2022 – Amusements

This morning I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all! All my meals were prepared for me, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, I could still go to school.”

I asked him, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

“No, nothing like that,” he said. “I got out of prison.”

10 April 2022

Boy, have we had wind this week. And I am not talking about me! No damage as such that I can see from the confines of my study upstairs but, as I look out at the rain which is slashing down, I can see that the bench which sits on the Green in front of our house has been blown over as has the sign to the mushroom farm just up the drive behind us. I guess we should count our blessings – we’ve not had any more snow!

10 April 2022 – Amusements

In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.

The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, “We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat.”

Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, “Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?”

3 April 2022

Well, that was a change I wasn’t exactly expecting. We had Spring followed by Autumn and then Winter returned, all in the space of a week. We missed Summer altogether. After last week’s glorious sunshine and wonderfully acceptable temperatures, this week has been cold bordering on very, very cold (for us), quite breezy and we had hail and snow on Thursday and Friday. I just hope the Greengage blossom in the orchard, always the first to show, doesn’t get hammered by the cold and wind (heaven forbid we should get a frost) as those are the most delicious of the plums we get.

3 April 2022 – Amusements

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. “Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes.”

Author: Greg