And, we’re back! A great few days in Felixstowe (much to our surprise) and a new addition to the family. It’s been an action-packed couple of weeks since we saw you last.
Continue reading “24 April 2022”24 April 2022 – Amusements
This morning I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all! All my meals were prepared for me, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, I could still go to school.”
I asked him, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”
“No, nothing like that,” he said. “I got out of prison.”
Continue reading “24 April 2022 – Amusements”10 April 2022
Boy, have we had wind this week. And I am not talking about me! No damage as such that I can see from the confines of my study upstairs but, as I look out at the rain which is slashing down, I can see that the bench which sits on the Green in front of our house has been blown over as has the sign to the mushroom farm just up the drive behind us. I guess we should count our blessings – we’ve not had any more snow!
Continue reading “10 April 2022”10 April 2022 – Amusements
In the office where I work, there is a constant battle between our technical-support director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.
The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, “We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat.”
Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, “Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?”
Continue reading “10 April 2022 – Amusements”3 April 2022
Well, that was a change I wasn’t exactly expecting. We had Spring followed by Autumn and then Winter returned, all in the space of a week. We missed Summer altogether. After last week’s glorious sunshine and wonderfully acceptable temperatures, this week has been cold bordering on very, very cold (for us), quite breezy and we had hail and snow on Thursday and Friday. I just hope the Greengage blossom in the orchard, always the first to show, doesn’t get hammered by the cold and wind (heaven forbid we should get a frost) as those are the most delicious of the plums we get.
Continue reading “3 April 2022”3 April 2022 – Amusements
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.
Just then the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. “Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes.”
Continue reading “3 April 2022 – Amusements”27 March 2022
It’s been a splendid week. The weather has been pretty much excellent – clear(ish) blue skies and warm temperatures with lots of lovely sunshine. As my alter ego Larry David would say, it’s been pretty, pretty, pretty good.
Continue reading “27 March 2022”27 March 2022 – Amusements
We had a neighbour hammering on our door at 3 am last night. 3 AM! Can you believe it?
Luckily, I was already up playing the bagpipes.
Continue reading “27 March 2022 – Amusements”20 March 2022
Well, it’s been a decent enough week. The weather has been (mainly) pleasant – warm and sunny, apart from the daylong downpour on Wednesday. Spring feels tantalisingly close! Or, at least the blossoms in the garden would suggest so.
Continue reading “20 March 2022”20 March 2022 – Amusements
A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five-year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.
Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve-foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in, he tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.”
To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no! Don’t shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son’s picture on his back.”
Continue reading “20 March 2022 – Amusements”